It occurred to me the other day that I can't remember so many of the funny moments and things that Jackson has said. Time has flown since I was first blessed with being his mother and now we have Daphne who is already 6 months old. I post things on Facebook but to prevent getting so long winded on there I have decided to blog about some of the funnies that happen in the Routh household as well as any other random thoughts that I feel like writing.
Today I begin by remembering the first moment I became a mother 5 years ago. I don't remember life before this day very much. I was strapped to the c section table about to become a mother, so alone and scared because of the emergency c section. When I came to everyone else was holding and looking at my baby boy but me. I was very out of it and medicated but I remember that overflowing feeling of love that washed over me the first time I held him and I have never been the same since.
I have spent a lot of time reading all research of what it takes to be a great parent and my husband would tell me I do this too much. And yet everyday I feel like a failure because I constantly dissapoint myself as a mother. I am pretty sure based on other things I have read other mothers feel this way. So I am sure that I am with the band of other mothers who feel the constant pang of guilt at not being perfect.
We have made it through infancy with nights spent worrying that something would happen in his sleep and toddler years worrying that he would put things in his mouth or watch too much tv. Now here we are in preschool years and my smart little man already is reading words and writing and talking in such an adult way. Sometimes he is talking back and acting too big for his britches! How did time fly so fast and how did I fail to slow down and take it all in? I know in a blink he will be in middle school then driving a car.
Now Daphne is in our family and I try to take in every moment because I know how quickly it passes. Soon she will be walking and talking.
I just want my children at the end of the day to know that they are the best thing I have ever done and that I am better because of them.